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I got another response from the witch while I was out watching a movie. She seems to be liking me. But I fear I have dug myself into a ditch. When she asked how I would go about bringing people to our side, I suggested celebrity endorsements. She was very fond of the idea, but asked if I can get celebrities to endorse her. Obviously, the answer is no. What do I tell her?

Tell her you will publicly sacrifice unpopular celebrities in order to make her feared throughout the land. Thousands will scream in terror as they watch live the executions of Justin Beiber and "The Situation". Now that's what I call a celebrity endorsement.

Just please don't touch Nicolas Cage.

Edit: Alternatively, admit defeat. She may be impressed by your humbleness.

Alright, scratch magic. I don't have compulsion, what was I thinking? Instead:

I'm good at what I do, dear Emerald. Meaning, if I want people to see how well you'd do in place of those Wizard-wannabes, then they will. It will take time, as all things do, but I have connections and am a well-known public figure. It won't take a lot of effort for these sheep to see that the proud and wonderful Wizards they exalt are merely dirt beneath your shoe.

Maybe? And to Wacky - you may not be able to, but tell her that she needs to go higher. This land goes by a thousand different hierarchies, but if she reaches the right people - or gets enough of them - she'll get who she wants.

VicariousShaner wrote:Tell her you will publicly sacrifice unpopular celebrities in order to make her feared throughout the land. Thousands will scream in terror as they watch live the executions of Justin Beiber and "The Situation". Now that's what I call a celebrity endorsement.

Just please don't touch Nicolas Cage.

Plus one internets for you.

Also, if anyone is interested in reading my Xanatosy wall of text, I have in up here on TV Tropes.

Wacky, it would be really funny if you DID contact celebrities to try to convince them to tweet saying they endorsed the witch. XD

Chief Wakamakamu wrote:Wacky, it would be really funny if you DID contact celebrities to try to convince them to tweet saying they endorsed the witch. XD

I don't have the nerve. I barely had the nerve to talk to the witch.

In any case, I told her I knew Chuck Norris and John Wayne. I'm going for big and bold lies with my persona. I may be digging myself into a deeper ditch, but I figure if she's going to catch me in a lie, it better be a really big lie.

Guys. I'm in trouble. Here's the witch's response to my last e-mail:

Wicked promises! If you can secure three celebrity endorsements -- have three people of some significance direct traffic to my blog -- your worth will be more than proven. I look forward to the results.
Otherwise, your dishonesty will be plain, and I shall deliver unto you a curse like no other.

Help me!!!!

Aaaand, there is my reply. Seems she is interested in my plan, and will reinstate me as a candidate, though she claims to be cursing me for good measure. I, of course, responded again being creepily evil and acting happy that I was going to get to see dark magic in person. Well, that was a fun way to spend an evening.

WackyMeetsPractical wrote:Guys. I'm in trouble. Here's the witch's response to my last e-mail:

Wicked promises! If you can secure three celebrity endorsements -- have three people of some significance direct traffic to my blog -- your worth will be more than proven. I look forward to the results.
Otherwise, your dishonesty will be plain, and I shall deliver unto you a curse like no other.

Help me!!!!

Um... *thinksfast* try lying to her about who exactly is a celebrity? Or just get three people of some import who are involved in this ARG at least tangentially. (Example: Tom, Dana, and Mr. A tweet about her)

Sicon112 wrote:

WackyMeetsPractical wrote:Guys. I'm in trouble. Here's the witch's response to my last e-mail:

Wicked promises! If you can secure three celebrity endorsements -- have three people of some significance direct traffic to my blog -- your worth will be more than proven. I look forward to the results.
Otherwise, your dishonesty will be plain, and I shall deliver unto you a curse like no other.

Help me!!!!

Um... *thinksfast* try lying to her about who exactly is a celebrity? Or just get three people of some import who are involved in this ARG at least tangentially. (Example: Tom, Dana, and Mr. A tweet about her)

Still think you should go for actual, mid-level celebrities. Like Tara Strong. We would be happy to help?

Chief Wakamakamu wrote:Like Tara Strong.

I was thinking that, too, considering how crazy she is with her Twilighticious.

Goldude wrote:

Chief Wakamakamu wrote:Like Tara Strong.

I was thinking that, too, considering how crazy she is with her Twilighticious.

Tara's a troll. Are you sure you'd trust something like this to her?

IslaKariese wrote:

Goldude wrote:

Chief Wakamakamu wrote:Like Tara Strong.

I was thinking that, too, considering how crazy she is with her Twilighticious.

Tara's a troll. Are you sure you'd trust something like this to her?

She's a benevolent troll, though. So yeah, I might. We should all tweet at her.

Who else could we try to contact to save Wacky from a really bad curse?

Chief Wakamakamu wrote:

Sicon112 wrote:Um... *thinksfast* try lying to her about who exactly is a celebrity? Or just get three people of some import who are involved in this ARG at least tangentially. (Example: Tom, Dana, and Mr. A tweet about her)

Still think you should go for actual, mid-level celebrities. Like Tara Strong. We would be happy to help?

Once again. I have no nerve. I cannot contact people of even minimal importance. But do we think we can get those people to go for it?

Edit: However, I thought I may help a little. I composed a tweet that maybe others may retweet? Here it is: https://twitter.com/WackyMPractical/sta ... 6907375616

WackyMeetsPractical wrote:

Chief Wakamakamu wrote:

Sicon112 wrote:Um... *thinksfast* try lying to her about who exactly is a celebrity? Or just get three people of some import who are involved in this ARG at least tangentially. (Example: Tom, Dana, and Mr. A tweet about her)

Still think you should go for actual, mid-level celebrities. Like Tara Strong. We would be happy to help?

Once again. I have no nerve. I cannot contact people of even minimal importance. But do we think we can get those people to go for it?

Well, you'd better get some nerve, 'cause otherwise you'll have a pissed off Witch who doesn't take to weaklings. Tara's understanding enough. Maybe we'll even be featured somewhere...

I'm good at what I do, dear Emerald. Meaning, if I want people to see how well you'd do in place of those Wizard-wannabes, then they will. It will take time, as all things do, but I have connections. It won't take a lot of effort for these sheep to see that the proud and wonderful Wizards they exalt are merely dirt beneath your shoe.

The internet is a rather versatile thing, as you no doubt have discovered. Even as we speak back and forth, I discuss the ramifications of your arrival to my colleagues. They will tell people they know, and those people will tell others, and the grapevine can only get longer.

Very well. Bring 10 people to me who were not involved in this entire situation before, but have gained interest because of you, and I will believe in the strength of your "connections."

... So, who's got friends that aren't already involved in this ARG, 'cause I have absolutely none...!

IslaKariese wrote:

I'm good at what I do, dear Emerald. Meaning, if I want people to see how well you'd do in place of those Wizard-wannabes, then they will. It will take time, as all things do, but I have connections. It won't take a lot of effort for these sheep to see that the proud and wonderful Wizards they exalt are merely dirt beneath your shoe.

The internet is a rather versatile thing, as you no doubt have discovered. Even as we speak back and forth, I discuss the ramifications of your arrival to my colleagues. They will tell people they know, and those people will tell others, and the grapevine can only get longer.

Very well. Bring 10 people to me who were not involved in this entire situation before, but have gained interest because of you, and I will believe in the strength of your "connections."

... So, who's got friends that aren't already involved in this ARG, 'cause I have absolutely none...!

My brother. And who needs friends when you can create throw away e-mails and use them to post under different names on her blog? Unless the witch already has figured out how to track IP addresses, that should work like a charm. (Pun intended)

Sicon112 wrote:My brother. And who needs friends when you can create throw away e-mails and use them to post under different names on her blog? Unless the witch already has figured out how to track IP addresses, that should work like a charm. (Pun intended)

But what if she does? I'm screwed! I'm cursed! I'm... Don Quixote when thrust into a situation bigger than him! *whimpers*

IslaKariese wrote:But what if she does? I'm screwed! I'm cursed! I'm... Don Quixote when thrust into a situation bigger than him! *whimpers*

That would be every situation involving Don Quixote ever, and probably some that don't. And by the way, I almost guarantee that she has not. That would be insane, and a total dick move by the puppet masters.

Sicon112 wrote:That would be every situation involving Don Quixote ever, and probably some that don't. And by the way, I almost guarantee that she has not. That would be insane, and a total dick move by the puppet masters.

...Right. I'll try it. The things I do for entertainment...

IslaKariese wrote:

Sicon112 wrote:That would be every situation involving Don Quixote ever, and probably some that don't. And by the way, I almost guarantee that she has not. That would be insane, and a total dick move by the puppet masters.

...Right. I'll try it. The things I do for entertainment...

Post GRADUALLY over the next 10 to 24 hours. All at once and the deception is obvious.

Also, if you really do think she can track IPs, go down to the local library tomorrow and start switching between computers down there. That should throw her off enough, though she will be able to tell that the computers are all from the same area, and it's not that big a leap of logic to guess they come from the same network either, so then try switching libraries every one to three posts.

That should pretty much remove all suspicion. Make sure to vary writing styles slightly, and possibly add a typo or two amongst the posts for flavor.

Sicon112 wrote:Post GRADUALLY over the next 10 to 24 hours. All at once and the deception is obvious.

Well, first I gotta create ten new email accounts and remember the names and passwords given to each of them. And use the names and emails interchangeably to keep up the deception. And manage not to have 11 people sound the same. Even given the internet, it's a bit much.

Sicon112 wrote:Also, if you really do think she can track IPs, go down to the local library tomorrow and start switching between computers down there. That should throw her off enough, though she will be able to tell that the computers are all from the same area, and it's not that big a leap of logic to guess they come from the same network either, so then try switching libraries every one to three posts.

That should pretty much remove all suspicion. Make sure to vary writing styles slightly, and possibly add a typo or two amongst the posts for flavor.

...You're trying to kill me. This is... *pinches nose to stave off headache* Right. If anyone knows ten real people to send my way, great. Otherwise, prepare my will and hand me a nice big bucket of water, 'cause this is going to be Hell.

IslaKariese wrote:

Sicon112 wrote:Post GRADUALLY over the next 10 to 24 hours. All at once and the deception is obvious.

Well, first I gotta create ten new email accounts and remember the names and passwords given to each of them. And use the names and emails interchangeably to keep up the deception. And manage not to have 11 people sound the same. Even given the internet, it's a bit much.

Sicon112 wrote:Also, if you really do think she can track IPs, go down to the local library tomorrow and start switching between computers down there. That should throw her off enough, though she will be able to tell that the computers are all from the same area, and it's not that big a leap of logic to guess they come from the same network either, so then try switching libraries every one to three posts.

That should pretty much remove all suspicion. Make sure to vary writing styles slightly, and possibly add a typo or two amongst the posts for flavor.

...You're trying to kill me. This is... *pinches nose to stave off headache* Right. If anyone knows ten real people to send my way, great. Otherwise, prepare my will and hand me a nice big bucket of water, 'cause this is going to be Hell.

Sorry. I'm a diagnosed sufferer of Complexity Addiction. But if you insist you can just use a proxy, though that may end up with IP's from all over the place, so be sure to say you know the fake people through the internet as opposed to real life.

Sicon112 wrote:Sorry. I'm a diagnosed sufferer of Complexity Addiction. But if you insist you can just use a proxy, though that may end up with IP's from all over the place, so be sure to say you know the fake people through the internet as opposed to real life.

What's a proxy?