The witch's advertisement

"A leader must rule through fear and flying monkeys!"

[Refictionalized 20 Dec 2012]

Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Scarab on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:19 pm

*Gulps* Applied... :(

Oh dear, I did my best but I don't think I'm cut out for this dark arts stuff, and two Steps from Hell did not work for me... neither did Globus, or the Doctor Horrible soundtrack... Urgh, come on, Scarab, think evil thoughts. :evil:

I did tell her I used to work in a department store, I mean, maybe that'll help...
They sometimes say, "the place where I am right now was circled on a map for me"... Unfortunately, I kind of suck at orienteering.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Sicon112 on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:33 pm

Scarab wrote:*Gulps* Applied... :(

Oh dear, I did my best but I don't think I'm cut out for this dark arts stuff, and two Steps from Hell did not work for me... neither did Globus, or the Doctor Horrible soundtrack... Urgh, come on, Scarab, think evil thoughts. :evil:

I did tell her I used to work in a department store, I mean, maybe that'll help...


You do realize that your post somehow made your application the most awesome one of all, right? Gosh, I would love to see how the Witch reacts to that one...

I just tried to lay on the Smug Snake as thick as I could. Optimally, she will think that while I am intelligent, my own knowledge has left me considering myself the Only Sane Man in a retarded world, and will mark me as a good target for manipulation. Of course, I will know that she is manipulating me, and will only be pretending to go along with it while getting as much info as possible, and also planning for her to know that I know... OK, I think you know what I mean at this point. A deeper explanation would just make my head hurt anyway.
Normal people are the easiest to manipulate. Too smart and they have an annoying tendency to catch wind of your plans, too dumb and, in the words of a certain pirate, "You can never tell when they are about to do something incredibly...stupid."
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Flitterbie on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:35 pm

I went for mysterious/ominous. I thought it sounded menacing.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Replica on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:36 pm

...That is possibly the weirdest email I ever sent. I have no words to describe it.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Scarab on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:38 pm

You do realize that your post somehow made your application the most awesome one of all, right? Gosh, I would love to see how the Witch reacts to that one...


...You really think so? Thanks. :) I guess time will tell. Good luck to everyone.

I just tried to lay on the Smug Snake as thick as I could. Optimally, she will think that while I am intelligent, my own knowledge has left me considering myself the Only Sane Man in a retarded world, and will mark me as a good target for manipulation. Of course, I will know that she is manipulating me, and will only be pretending to go along with it while getting as much info as possible, and also planning for her to know that I know... OK, I think you know what I mean at this point.


Sounds like a winning strategy, and being from the fiction she is, I'm sure she'd be more than likely to fall for the ruse. Every villain needs a smug snake at their back.

...That is possibly the weirdest email I ever sent. I have no words to describe it.

Tell me about it. And I thought trying to apply for work at the Wacky Warehouse was weird...
They sometimes say, "the place where I am right now was circled on a map for me"... Unfortunately, I kind of suck at orienteering.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Flitterbie on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:46 pm

So, got a response. I'm going to post my e-mail first, then the reply:

Good day-

I am writing this to express my interest in becoming your campaign manager. I am all for change in this world, and I do like to think that my knowledge of dark magic is... adequate.

However, before I commit to anything, I must know - what are your positions on major topics? Economics, Foreign Policy, etc.

I look forward to hearing back from you, and potentially working together to bring change to this world.


Potential Minion:
Excellent! Few of my applicants know anything about the dark arts. In addition to information on how you would build up support, I would like a complete list of all spells you know.
I never really cared much for Economics -- magic tends to disrupt free trade -- but in regards to Foreign Policy, I believe we should position ourselves so that every opposing leader will be struck dead with terror in the face of our might.


I may have lied myself into a corner here with the dark magic bit. Am planning a response carefully now.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby NeverSlender on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:47 pm

I just got a reply too, asking how I'd go about recruitment.
Marching on together.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Flitterbie on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:48 pm

NeverSlender wrote:I just got a reply too, asking how I'd go about recruitment.


Obviously the correct answer is 'by force.'
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Sicon112 on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:49 pm

Flitterbie wrote:So, got a response. I'm going to post my e-mail first, then the reply:

Good day-

I am writing this to express my interest in becoming your campaign manager. I am all for change in this world, and I do like to think that my knowledge of dark magic is... adequate.

However, before I commit to anything, I must know - what are your positions on major topics? Economics, Foreign Policy, etc.

I look forward to hearing back from you, and potentially working together to bring change to this world.


Potential Minion:
Excellent! Few of my applicants know anything about the dark arts. In addition to information on how you would build up support, I would like a complete list of all spells you know.
I never really cared much for Economics -- magic tends to disrupt free trade -- but in regards to Foreign Policy, I believe we should position ourselves so that every opposing leader will be struck dead with terror in the face of our might.


I may have lied myself into a corner here with the dark magic bit. Am planning a response carefully now.


You may indeed be in trouble there... Any spells you claim to have must be impossible to demonstrate over long distances, and must sound very evil. Avoid unique spells that only one character has, and try to take examples from Oz itself.
Normal people are the easiest to manipulate. Too smart and they have an annoying tendency to catch wind of your plans, too dumb and, in the words of a certain pirate, "You can never tell when they are about to do something incredibly...stupid."
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Dryunya on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:50 pm

I got the answer. It's basically a test. I replied with one of "No Kill Like Overkill" quotes, hope that will do. :mrgreen:
AND look what was embedded it the mail:

http://westwitch.ezblog.twwf.info/
Get cracking, hivemind. :gurt: :gurt:
I have attempted to suppress my inner hyperspace future gardener crying out against all the injustice I am committing.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby NeverSlender on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:51 pm

Flitterbie wrote:
NeverSlender wrote:I just got a reply too, asking how I'd go about recruitment.


Obviously the correct answer is 'by force.'


Something like that. One of the lines of my reply was "anyone who shows resistance would be dealt with."
Marching on together.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Flitterbie on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:52 pm

NeverSlender wrote:
Flitterbie wrote:
NeverSlender wrote:I just got a reply too, asking how I'd go about recruitment.


Obviously the correct answer is 'by force.'


Something like that. One of the lines of my reply was "anyone who shows resistance would be dealt with."


I ended up going with 'by any means necessary.'
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Adell on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:52 pm

I told her I knew spells like charm, not very hard to prove charisma if you got it! Not to mention, I imagine she'd need that for a campaign.
If you ever need to ask the questions "Am I needed? Should I help them?" The answer is always yes. Always.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Sicon112 on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:53 pm

Still nothing on my end, but I love the witch's blog.

A leader must rule through fear and flying monkeys!


That's awesomeness in quote form right there. All in favor of that being the witch's section quote, say aye.
Normal people are the easiest to manipulate. Too smart and they have an annoying tendency to catch wind of your plans, too dumb and, in the words of a certain pirate, "You can never tell when they are about to do something incredibly...stupid."
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby WackyMeetsPractical on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:53 pm

Dryunya wrote:I got the answer. It's basically a test. I replied with one of "No Kill Like Overkill" quotes, hope that will do. :mrgreen:
AND look what was embedded it the mail:

http://westwitch.ezblog.twwf.info/
Get cracking, hivemind. :gurt: :gurt:


The Wicked Witch is running for president. This is a weird game.
If everyone would just agree with me, there would never be any problems.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Goldude on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:54 pm

Hmm... Should I make a throwaway e-mail to reply as Dr. Dinosaur?

Also please don't do anything on the blog until you've gotten the link. Wouldn't want her getting too suspicious.
Last edited by Goldude on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Sicon112 on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:54 pm

Judging by the witches new blog post, I think I pissed her off. Maybe I was a bit too good. Crap. I'm totally getting revenge for this.
Normal people are the easiest to manipulate. Too smart and they have an annoying tendency to catch wind of your plans, too dumb and, in the words of a certain pirate, "You can never tell when they are about to do something incredibly...stupid."
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Sicon112 on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:55 pm

Goldude wrote:Hmm... Should I make a throwaway e-mail to reply as Dr. Dinosaur?


This. Do it. I'm mad at her right now. She totally deserves it.
Normal people are the easiest to manipulate. Too smart and they have an annoying tendency to catch wind of your plans, too dumb and, in the words of a certain pirate, "You can never tell when they are about to do something incredibly...stupid."
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Flitterbie on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:56 pm

Oh God, she's campaigning for President. This is much worse than I thought.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby NeverSlender on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:56 pm

Dryunya wrote:I got the answer. It's basically a test. I replied with one of "No Kill Like Overkill" quotes, hope that will do. :mrgreen:
AND look what was embedded it the mail:

http://westwitch.ezblog.twwf.info/
Get cracking, hivemind. :gurt: :gurt:



Looks like it's definitely the Wicked Witch of the West. The other had been to our world before. Also, "It's quite clear I'm not in Oz anymore." Nice reference GMs.
Marching on together.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Sicon112 on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:57 pm

Flitterbie wrote:Oh God, she's campaigning for President. This is much worse than I thought.


Worse? don't you mean MUCH MORE AWESOME? This is gonna be great. Now... let me think... how can I humiliate her... :twisted:
Normal people are the easiest to manipulate. Too smart and they have an annoying tendency to catch wind of your plans, too dumb and, in the words of a certain pirate, "You can never tell when they are about to do something incredibly...stupid."
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby WackyMeetsPractical on Sat Oct 06, 2012 4:59 pm

I'm a little nervous about sending in an application. What if she picks me? I know nothing about campaigning.
If everyone would just agree with me, there would never be any problems.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Flitterbie on Sat Oct 06, 2012 5:00 pm

Sicon112 wrote:
Flitterbie wrote:Oh God, she's campaigning for President. This is much worse than I thought.


Worse? don't you mean MUCH MORE AWESOME? This is gonna be great. Now... let me think... how can I humiliate her... :twisted:


I've already called dibs on condescendingly referring to her as 'Elphie.'
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Scarab on Sat Oct 06, 2012 5:01 pm

I just got my own reply.

While your insistence that you posses a soul is disheartening, I suppose those with some good in them are still capable of commendable service. As none of the other applicants reported work history, that is a plus to your credibility as a capable minion. How would you go about recruiting more for our cause?


Hm. Maybe if I play the soul thing as disability I have long sought to overcome?

I ended up going with 'by any means necessary.'


I think I'm going to try a slightly different tack. I mean, she knows I have a soul now, anyway...
They sometimes say, "the place where I am right now was circled on a map for me"... Unfortunately, I kind of suck at orienteering.
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Re: The witch's advertisement

Postby Dryunya on Sat Oct 06, 2012 5:01 pm

Wait...

I thought she meant a military campaign!
I've never felt so cheated. :cry:
I have attempted to suppress my inner hyperspace future gardener crying out against all the injustice I am committing.
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