BEGINNING OF THE END

[averagejoe]

Alright, guys. I’m the person who’s been involved in this the longest. The first metaguard, heh. It feels fitting for me to go out there and be the one to risk it all. This is the least I can do for you guys after all you’ve done for me over these past few months! And it should be...fun, right? Fun? Is that the word I’m looking for? Sure!

[EdwardTheAwesome]

First of all, you don’t have a car. Like hell am I going to use my car to drive you over to what may be your death.

Second, you’ve already had your life in danger for this voice of yours. You were on the run for months. Do you have any idea what it’s been like for those weeks you weren’t here? I would spend all my time wondering if someone was going to just...come along and hurt you. I refuse to go through that again. I am putting my foot down.

Third...I hate to say it, Joe, but are you really even cut out for this? I’ve seen the way you handle stress. Everyone here has. It’s...it’s not pretty.It doesn’t make you into a good person. You aren’t at your best when you’re scared. I mean, okay, no one is, but still. I have serious doubts that you’d be able to face this monster and your almost definite death with any semblance of level-headedness.

This isn’t just a cool thing to do, Joe. You need to know you can face down a monster with nothing but a smartphone. You need to know that you have the ability to handle it with the finesse that the situation demands, or else you’re dead. We’re all dead. The world is over, forever, and there are no redos.

And you also need to get a ride there, and your parents work on weekdays.

[Inukai44]

where is the location?

[Endless Sea]

I'd volunteer, but my feeble mental capacities and weak physical prowess would probably get me killed within seconds of squiddy poking even the tip of a single tentacle into the same plane of reality.

[Blurred_9L]

where is the location?

It most likely depends on who gets chosen to do the heroic sacrifice.

[averagejoe]

So after much deliberation...I’ve decided that Edward is right. As much as it really pains me to say it, I’m not the best option for this. I would try. I would certainly try. But I need to be realistic about what would actually happen. Ed’s right. I don’t do well under pressure or stress. I get jumpy, I get anxious, I mess things up. I would love to have the opportunity to jump into the race with you guys, but I think I have to respectfully bow out.

I think we should try to pick someone who really represents the best of what the Metaguards have to offer. That includes, ahem, grace under pressure. I don’t want to be sending ANYONE to their doom, so let’s make sure that we send our most capable representative, someone we trust to do not just their best, but our best.

[Inukai44]

Then that's guest

[The Wild West Pyro]

I really want to go, but I'm 13 and I don't have a smartphone.

Shit.

However, I will help the most I can.

[JRPictures]

I'll volunteer too!!!!

It is my duty to help my Metaguards.

[S_o_S]

If I can help, I will. If it's a choice between oneself and the entire world, then how can I dare to be selfish?

I feel like I've never been able to be that useful to this cause. I've said I'll submit refics and have failed to do so, every single time. I've never been in range of an echo, and I've never solved a puzzle, or anything like that. If there's anything I can do here to slow that bastard down, then I'm on it.

[Goldude]

BLAH BLAH BLAH I TYPE IN ALL CAPS

You know, this would be the point in time were someone comes out of retirement and sacrifice himself for the greater good. Hint: It's me.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I was about to buy The Whisperer in Darkness, which included eight stories from the Cthulhu Mythos, including THE CALL OF CTHULHU. I really wanted to buy it, but the cover was scary as shit- I mean, the lizard guy on the cover was ONE UGLY MOTHERFUCKER- and something made me not want to buy it. I was heading for the cashier when I had this ominous feeling that Cthulhu was watching me, and buying this book would bring horrible bad luck on me.

Anyway, I found out Cthulhu lives in an underwater city called Ry'leth, or something like that, and in Lovecraft's story, it rose from the waters and Cthulhu attacked. They escaped in a lifeboat luckily, but never forgot the horrors.

Also:

I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER AS METAGUARD!

[Replica]

Alike so many others of you, I also volunteer. I could borrow an appropriate device and scrounge some cash to take a bus to death if need be. You know, I haven't really helped before so I really may as well help now.

[H22]

I'd do it, but, well, I have no chance of getting to our friendly ELDRITCH. So, sorry.

I was about to buy The Whisperer in Darkness, which included eight stories from the Cthulhu Mythos, including THE CALL OF CTHULHU. I really wanted to buy it, but the cover was scary as shit- I mean, the lizard guy on the cover was ONE UGLY MOTHERFUCKER- and something made me not want to buy it. I was heading for the cashier when I had this ominous feeling that Cthulhu was watching me, and buying this book would bring horrible bad luck on me.

Anyway, I found out Cthulhu lives in an underwater city called Ry'leth, or something like that, and in Lovecraft's story, it rose from the waters and Cthulhu attacked. They escaped in a lifeboat luckily, but never forgot the horrors.

Also:

I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER AS METAGUARD!

[Scarab]

WE ARE HEARTENED BY THE SHOW OF READINESS. BUT WE MUST CLARIFY THAT THIS WILL NOT BE FUN. YOU WILL BE IN HARM'S WAY.

We know. Still volunteering. Let's kick it in the ass.

-WRITING SONGS ABOUT TEAMWORK

...Let... let me get this straight... you want us to write songs and/sing?

DUDE, finally something I can actually do to help the wall!

I also volunteer to stand before Cthulhu, with eveyrone else. I have no smart phone, but damn if I can't sing. British people? REALLY good at singing as they approach their deaths.

[Pixelmage]

EACH OF YOU HAS 24 HOURS TO DECIDE WHETHER TO STEP FORWARD OR NOT. VOTING WILL THEN COMMENCE TO SELECT THE METAGUARD WHO WILL FACE OFF AGAINST CTHULHU.

I realize now that Mr. A has said there would be a vote for choosing the metaguard assigned to this mission... I imagine it's too early to do it yet, as 24h have no passed yet, but I would like to propose that no one votes on himself.

I mean, we signed up, of course we'll pick ourselves to go! It may force ties if we do that, so I propose that we, the ones signed up, vote on other people. Vote on who you trust the most to carry out this mission, on who you trust the most to come back alive from it.

[eli_gone_crazy]

We are Metaguards. This is what we do. We have been given a choice. You can back down now.
No one will judge you. Hell, only one of us will be chosen anyway. We are Metaguards, and we will fight.
We need everyone, not just the few. If you are registered, join us. We need to help. There are fics to be written, battle songs to be sung. No one can stay still. WE MUST MOVE. This is our moment, our time; this is our chance to do what has never been done. You are my friends, my allies. We've been through hell and back. We've fought monsters, and written 5 heroes, who are waiting to defend us.
Now we are presented with one more challenge, to send one of our own away to fight a monster, alone. We MUST make sure they come back. WE will not let them fall. We MUST not let them fall. We are a team, a tram, we have been through worse and survived. We are here to ensure that no one else has to deal with this.
I don't care if you have commented on every post, or if you just started. I don't care if you are involved, or a lurker. We need you now. Let's show Cthulhu what happens when he tries to come here.
WE ARE THE METAGUARDS.
WE ARE TOGETHER.
WE WILL FIGHT.
WE WILL WIN.

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

What everyone else has said on this matter, but with a bit more ham.

[IslaKariese]

...Well, the beast is my husband. Fictionally. But hey, that's the sense that actually counts 'round here, isn't it? *raises hand*

[The Wild West Pyro]

I'd be willing to save the world, so-

CTHULHU, GET READY TO BE SO FUCKED UP YOU'LL BE SENT CRYING AND WITH ALL YOUR BODY PARTS IN THE WRONG PLACES, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BEAST, YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU-

Why are you all staring at me?

[Adell]

I'd be willing to save the world, so-

CTHULHU, GET READY TO BE SO FUCKED UP YOU'LL BE SENT CRYING AND WITH ALL YOUR BODY PARTS IN THE WRONG PLACES, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BEAST, YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU-

Why are you all staring at me?

While I appreciate the bravado, Pyro, we need to keep cool in these situations. We can handle this, but we don't need to go screaming obscenities from the rooftops either.

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

I'd be willing to save the world, so-

CTHULHU, GET READY TO BE SO FUCKED UP YOU'LL BE SENT CRYING AND WITH ALL YOUR BODY PARTS IN THE WRONG PLACES, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BEAST, YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU-

Why are you all staring at me?

While I appreciate the bravado, Pyro, we need to keep cool in these situations. We can handle this, but we don't need to go screaming obscenities from the rooftops either.

Indeed. We need to be calm. Deadly calm.

[The Wild West Pyro]

I'd be willing to save the world, so-

CTHULHU, GET READY TO BE SO FUCKED UP YOU'LL BE SENT CRYING AND WITH ALL YOUR BODY PARTS IN THE WRONG PLACES, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BEAST, YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU-

Why are you all staring at me?

While I appreciate the bravado, Pyro, we need to keep cool in these situations. We can handle this, but we don't need to go screaming obscenities from the rooftops either.

Indeed. We need to be calm. Deadly calm.

OK.

Make a Google Doc and write everything you know about Cthulhu. We all agreed on that, let's start it.

[Dryunya]

Just send me in already.
I want to die.

[Guyshane]

Yea I would like to volunteer though i'm not sure where I will be when this happens. put me down as willing though. in fact yea I volunteer