Cabal Contact

[Tohrinha]

Reply to my last email.

Dearest Tohrinha,
That is, indeed, a start – This is most wonderful! I doubt Erik will be happy that this agent of the Tyrant refers to his work so dismissively.
I see that some involved are concerned about posting the actual clue, which is understandable I suppose. Assure them for me that we do not have the capabilities to get the other pieces on our own. I was hoping that more would see our side of things by this point, but at least action is being taken.
Sincerely,
Morgan

[Tohrinha]

Morgan,
I'm pleased to say that we're working quickly. Already another letter has been found, and the decoding begun.
I'd like to advocate on behalf of the metaguards who are or have been in contact with you. Would you be open to resuming communications now that we're progressing so fast? I can promise you that it will not detract from our work.
Respectfully,
Tohrinha

[Tohrinha]

Dearest Tohrinha,
This is wonderful, I've been keeping track of your progress. Though apparently people have fallen back on demonizing us, which means I doubt any definitive action will be taken.
I honestly do not understand how far people will go to convince themselves of the righteousness of the Tyrant. I don't know what we could possibly do. If the wall is left open, we will all perish. The Tyrant himself has stated as much. So many are determined to bury themselves in deceit and mistrust...or sitting on their hands and deciding to do nothing. Waiting too long would mean the collapse of reality as we know it, and I don't understand why none of your team is taking it seriously. Are people really so determined to send us all back that they will ignore a far greater threat?
With that said, we are mobilizing to provide you with something we know you want very dearly. If a wall piece is retrieved, our alliance could be cemented, and I doubt even James could object.
Sincerely,
Morgan

[Pixelmage]

Dear Morgan,

No time for beating around the bush, did you get Quixote's Echo? (Y/N)
If yes, annex the link. Failure to do so means the whole Tram will crush you. Painfully. Over and over. We'll not take it lightly if you try to bargain with our friend's life.
If no, sorry for the intrusion, how was your day, dearest Morgan? I'm fine myself and still wiling to talk about future plans that do not involve keeping a friend of mine hostage as I and I'm pretty sure every single metaguard will not tolerate it, so once again, sorry for the intrusion.

So, all in all, if you have intentions of blackmailing us. I'll just say that doing so will make us... Slightly upset.

~Pixelmage

Dearest [NAME],
We have stated that we do not want to see a fictional die in this world. We have been working on obtaining this echo since Don Quixote's condition was revealed to be as critical as it is. It is more important that he live than that he stay here. How dare you assume we would think otherwise.

We have already released the information to the three Metaguards who have been the least rude to us. Ask them for it.
Sincerely,
Morgan

Unless she's lying, who got the links? Why didn't you post it yet?

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

No links, but I've got this. Sorry.

Dearest [REDACTED],
Thank you very much for your advice. We intend to make the most of our
holiday season, as it's looking like we may be denied others. James and I
are intending to see Les Miserable sometime soon, on Erik's recommendation.
And as much as I understand the sentiment, a majority does not always want
to do the right thing. I've been looking up the history of this world, and
there are plenty of cases of the many oppressing the few. Just something to
keep in mind.
Sincerely,
Morgan

EDIT: I just asked, as shown below.

Ms. le Fey,
Thanks for the tip. We've decided to definitely go for the wall pieces, but we intend to refictionalize those who truly wish to return before we get the final wall piece. (Or, that's what I got out of the forums, at least.) Also, as you seem to have located Quixote's echo, may I please have the URL? I hope it not asking too much. Also have fun at Les Mis! Several of my friends have performed in productions of that play, and truly enjoyed it. Anyways, enjoy your time, and thank you for being so cooperative with my teammates. It means a lot.
Sincerely,
[REDACTED]

Seems that it's already found below.

[Tohrinha]

My friends:
http://xovr.twwf.info/i_mlW6bUvX.php
We’ve been working on this since Don Quixote’s medical condition became apparent – as we have said, we do not want to know what would happen if a fictional dies. Don Quixote is a great hero, and deserves a long life, whether in this world or his own.
Even with this, many of you still will not trust us. Even with this, many of you will never deem to help us. But while James was in favor of holding onto it until you all have acted for us, this is far too important.
Please give him a happy ending.
Sincerely,
Morgan

[Pixelmage]

I'm off this. Sent two more emails.

Dear Morgan,

I'll give you one last chance to talk to -me-. I did ask for it and stand by my decision to side against you if you refuse to cooperate. I asked for the link, you didn't provide it. You informed me of having done so to other 3 but didn't tell me who they are, which is also refusing to cooperate.

I'm sure you realize I'm one of the few active Metaguards willing to listen to you and consider the Cabal's side. Following the forums will also inform you that I'm one to work on theories that strengthen your side, if not intentionally, it is still beneficial to you. Cooperation can work for both sides, but I do not enjoy being taken for a fool.

I'll make no promises for my allegiances as the useless Administrator even having the link is not sharing it himself, so for that I do want to... Argue... With him.

If you'll still refuse to share the information, then there's no need to even reply to this email.

~Pixelmage

Follow up only, the link was disclosed as I typed the last email.
You failed to do so yourself and be open about it. Forget about my contact line.

EDIT: I got a reply for that.

Dearest [NAME],
If you had sent that email before the link had been shared, I would have considered it an apology and sent it to you. But I don't like being spoken to rudely and I don't see how I could have had time to respond to an email that had not yet been sent. I am sorry that you have chosen to close yourself off to further communication.
Sincerely,
Morgan

[Tohrinha]

Morgan,
Thank you so very much for sending us this. I have shared it with the metaguards; we're all concerned about Don Quixote, and we will do our best to give him a story that both honors his past and allows him a wonderful future.
Although I am concerned that you sent this link to but three of us, when sending it to as many as possible, or posting directly on the forum, seems a more efficient way to help Quixote. I am glad that your decision paid off, however.
Respectfully,
Tohrinha

[OneSteve]

Looks like I'm a little late with this, but anyway, I saw some people getting upset on the forums when I checked in before, so i emailed her for the link:

Hey Morgan,

I know I haven't been so communicative lately; I've been doing what I can, but you know, school is crazy this time of year and things. Anyway, I just checked in with the forums and apparently you have the link to don Quixote's second echo? I know you sent it to some others but they're not around now, and it would be really great if you could give it to me, too.

best wishes,
Steve E.

and she wrote back:

Dearest Steve,

Thank you. It’s unfortunate that the others apparently were not around at this time… but since you seem kind enough to not distort our efforts, here is the message we sent to the others:



My friends:

http://xovr.twwf.info/i_mlW6bUvX.php

We’ve been working on this since Don Quixote’s medical condition became apparent – as we have said, we do not want to know what would happen if a fictional dies. Don Quixote is a great hero, and deserves a long life, whether in this world or his own.

Even with this, many of you still will not trust us. Even with this, many of you will never deem to help us. But while James was in favor of holding onto it until you all have acted for us, this is far too important.

Please give him a happy ending.



Sincerely,

Morgan

[Pixelmage]

I... Received an umprompted follow up by Morgan... It has certainly calmed me down.

Dearest [NAME],

My last email was short and sent in the haste of anger. Let me please elaborate.

If you had sent that email before the link had been shared, I would have considered it enough of an apology to share it with you. As it is, though, I don't like being spoken to rudely, as most of your group has done. I responded rashly, as I believe you did in the beginning as well, to what felt like tumultuous circumstances. I do not enjoy being blamed for that which I did not do.

I don't see how I would have had time to respond to an email that had not yet been sent. I am sorry you have chosen to close yourself off to further communication. I will miss our conversations.

I wish that you had been civil to me in your emails today so that our conversation could have proceeded civilly, but I don't trust most of you to paint my words in a positive light anymore. I am sick of having my words twisted over and over again when my intentions are not any less pure than your own. I am tired of trying to be the hero when it seems that my actions will only be painted "as black as my heart."

That doesn't mean I will stop doing it. It means I am done explaining myself to the majority of the Metaguards. I am done being written off as a villain, assumed to be blackmailing for another person's life.

I am human. I am as human as the rest of you. I fall prey to traps in emotion just as the rest of you do. I am bound by loyalty to those whose actions I sometimes find questionable, as the rest of you are. I ask those persons to stand up for themselves, to show me why I should trust them further, as you do. And sometimes they prove it. Sometimes my emotions or our connections may blind me to their faults. Sometimes, they are really trying to make up for it. Because they are human too.

I am done being painted as the villain when I am only trying my best.

Morgan

Dear Morgan,

I will be honest, I too sent those emails in a daze of rage. I hold Quixote as a friend, and the stalling for the disclosure of the link made me think of all the worst outcomes. It made no sense to me why it couldn't simply be posted outright instead of simply saying it was found and not release it, it still does not. And in a cold calculus it was possible to see it as an invaluable bargaining piece. The timing that the information that it was found was released, with all the link holders offline, and the active Instantiation's sheer incompetence were certainly a very poor combination. Not having it while knowing that it was found, the mere idea that such vital information was being held, made jump towards the worst scenario possible.

I apologize for my outburst, and acknowledge that you did in fact disclose the information without trying to twist it for your personal gain. I am sorry. And thank you for that Echo. With it we can now save our friend's life.

Perhaps we can still talk in the future, if you are willing to accept my apologies.

~Pixelmage

[Blurred_9L]

Just putting here an exchange that I forgot to add. Nothing really important I think.

Dear Morgan:

Seeing that you have to read through lots of e-mails from my companions, I'll try to be as brief as possible. Right now, I don't really want to ask you anything about the Cabal, I'd rather ask you what do you think about this world. As you have seen and experienced, we possess freedom of choice in this world, but also we have a lot of rules we have to obey to maintain peace and order. Are you willing to obey them too, even if they seem stupid? (which sometimes, they are).
The other question I'd like to ask you, is: what are your thoughts about Mr. A's plans? I know you don't agree with him. I know you don't even like him. But it would be nice to know.
Sorry about all the questions, and also, sorry if this ends up being too long.

Blurred_9L

Her answer:

Hello Rodrigo,
I apologize for the long delay in response – as I have mentioned to other, Don Juan knocked out our router.

Obviously, it will take some time for us to adjust to your rules. We may not always follow them strictly, but we will accept the consequences when they come – having to account for your actions is the price of freedom, and that is one we are willing to pay.

As for what we think of Mr. Administrator’s plans, frankly, they are despotic and xenophobic. How many of you have managed to justify his attitudes to yourselves is beyond me.
Sincerely,
Morgan

And also, my apology after today:

Dear Morgan:

First of all, I would like to offer an apology...no, two apologies. The first one for not being able to answer to your email sooner (and for not sharing it on the forum, which I will do after I stop writing this one). The second one...it's about my position regarding what happened today. I mistrusted you as soon as the possibility that somebody unknown might have gotten Quixote's second echo. Seeing his current condition, one might think this to be excusable, but not me. So, being honest with you here, it's okay if you see no need to answer this email, as I have failed in the principle of human interaction: that is, trust.
You stay true to your ideals. That's good, it proves that you're being honest to us. As for me... right now, I have to think what's the best course of action, not for me, but for our group. I have an opinion of my own, but if we come to a decision that's different from what I'd like to do, then I will follow through no matter what. I'm sure you must be the same, because you have opened up to us a little bit. I would be nice to get to know your friends too, (because they're your friends, aren't they?), not as characters but as people with thoughts and feelings.

Sincerely
Blurred_9L

[narrativedilettante]

Just for the record, I also received a copy of the email with the link to Quixote's Echo. By the time I had a moment and saw the email, the link had already been shared. But I also received this email, in response to my last email to Morgan in which I expressed hope that she would be able to continue her life here:

Dearest Robynne,
I too, hope, but hope grows dimmer each day with the approaching calamity, in the face of the distrust of your friends, I am powerless.
I’d be happy to talk about these matters if there was hope for us, but in light of recent events I believe I need to start planning how James and I will spend our remaining days.
Sincerely,
Morgan

[S_o_S]

A brief discussion in the chat resulted in me sending this:

Dear Morgan,

I hope this email finds you and your group well. I thought I should inform you that one wall piece has been retrieved and re-integrated into the Wall. Mr. Administrator has reacted... Well, about as well as you would expect from him to be honest. The responsible user, Enlil is currently on his blacklist, so to speak.

A link for your convenience: viewtopic.php?f=19&t=773&start=50#p31333

Best wishes,

Joshua

[S_o_S]

And she responded with this:

Dearest Joshua,
Thank you – Enlil already reached out to us and let us know. Naturally we are heartened by this event – it brings us closer to stabilizing this world, and gives those of us who wish to stay hope for the first time in a while. And naturally, the Tyrant’s reaction is...not particularly constructive, to say the least. He's located between fiction and reality, correct? His inability to properly communicate seems strange, given that he is literally surrounded by communication.
We have offered to assist Enlil with anything he may need. Allow me to formally extent that offer to any of you who assisted – as long as we are not forced back, you have earned our trust.
Sincerely,
Morgan

P.S. I asked Enlil, but seeing how he hasn’t responded – how is Quixote doing? Is he going to be able to make the transition smoothly?

[Pixelmage]

Morgan replied to my apology email.

Dearest [NAME],

I am also sorry for my initial anger. I believe this will open us both up to understanding one another further in the future. I would like to extend my offer of assistance, and my trust, to you.

I would enjoy continuing our correspondence as well. Please let me know if there is anything else you would like to know

Morgan

For now I have nothing of substance to add, so I'll not send a follow up email. But I am now aware that the communication is still open. Thanks.

[narrativedilettante]

Dearest Morgan,

Thank you for sending us Don Quixote's Echo. We're working on refictionalizing him now, and we couldn't have done it without your help. While I appreciate the effort you went to in order to do this for us, I doubt it will make much difference in the minds of those who were already set against you. From their comments, I gather that your decision to email only a few of us with the link made them suspicious and angry. They were trying to find a way to access the Echo and felt that you were being obstructive rather than helpful. It is my view that they overreacted. Sadly, I don't think they are going to change their positions.

By now you know that one wall piece has been successfully reintegrated. I advocated for this, but I am not willing to proceed with repairing the wall completely just yet. There are still characters to refictionalize, such as Don Quixote, whom we do not want to leave on this side when the wall is closed.

In your email from yesterday, you sounded resigned and melancholic. I take it you were assuming that you would be refictionalized. However, in light of the recent development with the wall piece, you may have changed your outlook. I'd be curious to know how accepting you are of the idea of refictionalizition for yourself right now. I know that on the balance you'd rather stay here, but if it looks inevitable, is there any chance you would be willingly refictionalized? Would it make a difference if you knew who had written the story, and whether it was written to your specifications?

If you would rather not leave your fate in the hands of someone who lacks regard for your happiness and well-being, I am willing to write you precisely the sort of story you would like to be written. I'm not talking about forcing you back into fiction, but taking an option that may suit you better than one where you are refictionalized without any input from you whatsoever. It's fine with me if you reject the idea out of hand. I just wanted to put it out there.

In a similar vein, I've been considering Long John Silver's situation. Mr. Administrator has informed us that, while crossovers are impossible, we may be able to send messages between stories. I believe Long John Silver may be able to contact Gulliver in this way, but that would require him to submit to refictionalization as well. I understand that he may not be willing to trust us after what we did to him before. But if you could mention the possibility to him, then he could make his own choice about leaving this world for the possibility of some contact with his friend. It's not much, not nearly enough, to make it up to him, but at this point it's all we have to offer.

I had a lot to say in this email, and I apologize for the Wall of Text.

Sincerely,

Robynne

[Blurred_9L]

Putting this here now:

Dear Rodrigo,
Thank you for your apology. Such words of kindness are few and far between for us, so your words mean a lot.
Hopefully, you and your group will find it in your hearts to take a risk and give us a chance to live. That is all we ask.
As for the others, James is many things, but social is not one of them, and Don Juan is caught up in his own stupidity right now, as you are well aware. I know Erik wishes he could be available, but he always seems to be… busy. I think he was also a little disappointed that his own push for closer ties was poorly received. Given time, however, I am sure they all will open up to you.
Sincerely,
Morgan

My answer:

Dear Morgan:

I'm sure given time, anybody would start opening to others. I know for experience that different people take different amounts of time before they start getting acustomed to interaction with other people. Unfortunately, time is really something we do not have at the moment. I'm not sure if you have been notified by my fellow companions, but we have been given a deadline. This deadline happens to be the 21st of this very month. Though I find the date kind of funny and also, kind of dumb at the same time (mayan prophecies and whatnot), it is a deadline after all and I'm not sure I want to find out what happens if we fail. Seeing as this suddenly has become a timed mission, I guess it would be nice to hear your thoughts on this matter (your own companions can also share their opinions too), that is, if it's not much to ask.

I was thinking about how everybody seems to have their own ideas and plans. After what happened today with the wall piece, you could say we had a chat of sorts with Mr. A. I guess he was really angry, but I believe we did this in case something else happened and also out of curiosity (or I believe we did at least). But that's as much as I will justify our actions, and as it has happened, we will deal with the consequences if there are any. But seeing our interactions with him and also with you, sometimes I wonder if there isn't any way for us to cooperate as a unified group. All three (or more) parties involved (You, him, and us, the metaguards). I mean, some of us are fond of him, but hate your guts. Some are the other way. Most of us don't know what to do and who to trust honestly. I don't like picking sides, because I'm some sort of idealistic guy. What I'm trying to say is, Mr. A doesn't seem to be such a bad guy, maybe a little quirky and... I guess, isolated? But even though I know you have done terrible things, you don't strike me as completely evil people. The same is for my fellow metaguards. I want to be friends with them too. This must sound so silly to you, but I guess that's what I think, given our current situation.

So... this letter has a lot more text than I intended. Sorry about that, you're probably busy with something. So I'll just stop here for now.

Sincerely
Blurred_9L

P.S. I think Quixote's refic is already being written. Just so you know. Thanks for the echo.

[narrativedilettante]

Dearest Robynne,

It only makes sense delay in sealing the wall so that those who have to leave can. But, I truly hope you will not deem to hold it open longer than that.

With that said, I will never be willingly refictionalized. None of us will – this world has come to mean too much to us. I am sure you expected as much. You are very sweet, and I am sure you would do your best to write me a happy ending, but that is not what I desire. I do not wish to have an ending that is fixed in stone – I wish to be free, allowed to change my ending whenever I desire. There are various narrative tricks you can employ to pretend that is possible, but such is only truly a reality here. I hope you will take this into account – I believe you are a good person, but in many ways, the fact that you try to be kind while telling me I must leave only makes it all the more cruel. If I am resigned to anything, it is that even the best of you are prepared to set the rights of others aside when the Tyrant plays with fear. This is understandable – our fears led us to act despicably early on, but I hope that I shall yet be proven wrong, and that you will not let your fear stop you from doing the right thing.

Long John, on the other hand, I believe wants to stay largely because of his misplaced hope in seeing Gulliver again. We will want to verify that this possibility is an actuality and not some trick of the Tyrant, but I will certainly bring it up with him when he gets back from Russia – he deserves to know all factors. We understand his echo was recently retrieved, but I ask you to remember that the decision is his, and we will not take kindly to an attempt to force him back without his consent.

Weeks ago, I would have interpreted any talk of sending anyone back as a threat, and coming from anyone else, I probably still would. But you have earned the benefit of the doubt.

Sincerely,

Morgan

Dearest Morgan,

Thank you for your reasonable and considerate reply. I did not expect you to agree to refictionalization, but I felt that I had to bring it up. The choice facing me and the others is one I would rather not make, and I've been looking for any way to make the choice easier. The more I learn, though, the more difficult the choice seems.

I'm glad to hear that you'll bring the point up with Long John. I of course cannot give any assurances regarding Mr. Administrator's claim, for I understand that he may be deceiving me. The only assurance I can give is that, given the chance, I will do everything I can to reconnect him with Gulliver. The choice whether to trust it will work is his, and I will respect his decision.

I'm glad that we've come to a place where I can bring these subjects up with you, and it pains me to think of the conflict that undoubtedly lies ahead.

Sincerely,

Robynne

[Adell]

Dear Morgan,

Included in this email is a cute cat video, in an attempt to raise your spirits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HECa3bAFAYk

Dearest Adell,

I tried to show this video to James, but he just bristled and told me that “Fluffy cats are another thing that will be taken from us we are forced back, my dear.”

It wound up being quite depressing, actually. And the worst part is that it is true— the cats in Camelot were quite mangy.

Sincerely,

Morgan

Yeeesh, Mort is such a kill joy.

[Scarab]

Dear Morgan,

Included in this email is a cute cat video, in an attempt to raise your spirits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HECa3bAFAYk

Dearest Adell,

I tried to show this video to James, but he just bristled and told me that “Fluffy cats are another thing that will be taken from us we are forced back, my dear.”

It wound up being quite depressing, actually. And the worst part is that it is true— the cats in Camelot were quite mangy.

Sincerely,

Morgan

Yeeesh, Mort is such a kill joy.

But... that's like, one of the cutest cat videos on the internet, how can he NOT be affected?

[Genndy Oda C.O.G.]

Ms. le Fey,
Despite the demands of our "Leader", Mr. Administrator, the Metaguards have decided to locate all of the remaining wall pieces. A Mr. Wayne, also known as GuestUser17, has obtained a piece, but we plan to wait until the remaining fictionals who need or wish to return, such as the Witch and Don Quixote, are returned before we add it to the Wall. Additionally, it seems as though we can set up a communications line between Mr. Gulliver and Mr. Silver if we send him back, and I would like to ask if you could pass that along. Also, if you could ask Don Juan and Erik if they would be willing to open communications as well at this time, that would be great. Also, as a way of saying thanks for your help, here is a video for you and Mr. (Dr.?) Moriarty to share: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5mtaPJ3EH8. I hope that you and your associates will continue to trust us, as we are starting to trust you. As a reminder, these are simply my interpretations of what's going on in the forums.
Sincerely,
[REDACTED]

I hope I got the current events right.

[Pixelmage]

I... Decided to send another email...

Dear Morgan,

I know of your dislike for huge amounts of text and apologize in advance, as I predict that this one email will be rather big. But that will probably be necessary if I am to express my concerns adequately.

I would like you to consider being refictionalized willingly.

I have read your emails. I know it is your belief that it is not necessary and, honestly, I expect you to refuse. But I still wish to elaborate on my reasoning. I do not ask this as a lackey to Mr. A, I ask this, as the Cat would put it, as a Frightened Kitten. Some of us are clearly against allowing your stay, others clearly favorable to it. But we still share the ultimate fear of death. We were given a ticking clock, our own moon is falling... I'm afraid we no longer have time to sit and deliberate which path to take.

For the moment, we can not write stories for you and your friends. That makes my request pointless.

We might not get the required echoes in time to even have that option. That also makes my request pointless.

But if we somehow do manage to get the echoes, you are aware that for better or worse we hold the power to forcefully send you away. It saddens me, but we do. And once again, we are terrified. Fear can make us do terrible things. It's no longer about following Mr. A's orders, we're simply afraid of death. Some will take the leap of fate and refuse to force you back, but as long as even one decides to write your Refictionalization Stories, I'm afraid the collective will not be enough to stop it from happening. It could be a weak story, a bad ending... Ultimately, it would be awful both to us doing something against your will and to yourself, being sent forcefully to a world less polished than you deserve. It would be hideous for us to lock you against your will in a narrative that could go against all you wish for. And once again, one alone, be it me, you, James or even Ed... One alone can't stop the process from happening. Even if it was possible to convince all that it is not necessary to send you away, our time is too short for that.

You could make the analogy to the Golden Cage, I can't really say you are wrong as it is a question of perspective, but you know our powers allow us to make it so you do have the freedom you desire, we can craft a world so much bigger and richer than this one, we can wipe your memories or allow you to keep them if you so desire. You will be the protagonist, not the villain as you could fear. We can simply give you the chance to fight for your goals and let that open to your will instead of dictating your success, that too, can be your choice if you agree to work with us.

Silver and Gulliver were separated by us, true. But Mr. Administrator said that a story that can make him laugh or cry is strong enough to let them reach out to each other... Rest assured, we will have his infinite instantiations shedding rivers in the void if we need to. Such is our resolve to keep our promise to them. It is the same unspoken promise we make to all fictionals, we do not send them to hell because we can, nor send them away because Mr. Administrator said so. We send them back home because their home is not here.

And our fear, as it is, will force our hand. If we manage to get those echoes in time, it'll be to late stop the refictionalization. It'll start a war that is, ultimately, pointless and painful to both our sides. New information might arise before we come to such a point. And for the moment, we are powerless to force the issue. But our time is running out, and the closer we get to that deadline, the more hold fear, and not the silly Administrator's threats, will get over our actions. The closer we get to that deadline, more desperate we will be.

I am aware of your reasoning for not going back, so I do not ask that you repeat it in reply. This is simply me speaking my heart, I do not wish pain and suffering for either of our sides. My only wish is to be open about my feelings on this whole crisis so that, if nothing else, you can be aware of the reasons behind our actions. I, myself, am torn by the idea of having to choose between a leap of faith or the safest path, and unaware of which one I would choose if forced to.

For the moment we have more pressing concerns ourselves, such as working to save Don Quixote's life, and the time to make that ultimate call about the Cabal is not yet at hand. So please do not feel as if you have to give me a immediate reply. All I ask is that you think about it.

~Pixelmage

[H22]

I haven't had email access recently, but when I regained it I found Quixote's echo in my inbox. The fact I seem to be one of the 'three most polite' makes me oddly proud.

[Pixelmage]

I received a reply to my previous email... Took a while to post it here because I was composing my follow up email.

Dearest [NAME],

I know that you say this with good intentions and a good heart. Thank you for your honesty in this situation, where I know you do not need to be honest with me.

I will do everything in my power to stay here. You know my reasons for wanting to stay, so, at your request, I will not repeat the basics. I will, however, say that I find it astonishing how much you fear when there is so little evidence to support it. You are all going on the Tyrant's word, nothing more. You claim your moon is falling, but no one has even seen it move.

To begin, no matter what your intentions, I imagine that your Tyrant will likely accept the story that has me burning in hell over the one that leaves me with any sort of happy ending. Knowing that the Administrator bears us particular ill will does not make me confident that any happy story you might write would be the one that would succeed. Many members of your group are talented writers, and also despise me and mine.

But even beyond this bias, be wary of making promises you cannot keep. There is no real way to reconcile who I am with the world I am from, not faithfully. Unless you want to make me a repentant Christian, I will never be able to exist peacefully in my world. I stand for all of the pagans who were slaughtered by Christian Englishmen in their crusade to convert the country. In the lens of that world, I am evil because I am pagan - that is how the religious men who wrote of the Round Table created me and that is how I am able to service the story of Christian domination of England. However, I am who I am because I am pagan as well. In my opinion, I could not be written as Christian and have it be a story worth telling. It would be like writing Erik in a world where people suddenly aren't afraid of his appearance, or like writing Juan in a world where his morals were accepted as the norm. We are all designed to be incompatible with our own worlds.

If you'll notice, though, all of those problems with our existence in our own worlds are not present in this one. In many ways, we belong here, more than we belong back home.

If my second echo is located and retrieved, I will no longer be reading any of your emails. I know your group well enough by now to know that someone will try to pull a gambit where I unwittingly read my own refictionalization, or James', or Juan's, or Erik's. Therefore I will be out of touch, unless I decide to send out an email to you. But I will not be answering any more questions or offering any more aid. Call this paranoia, but it does not have to last forever.

Do you understand why I have to believe that there must be a way for me to exist in this world? You speak of fear, yet you do not understand what I and my companions have gone through on the other side and what awaits us if we are to return. I do not want to suffer for the rest of time, as I believe your Tyrant and many of your Metaguards would have me do. I would rather die here.

Morgan

Post-script: I know you will ask about James in regards to my fourth paragraph. His situation is more complicated. Like me, he was created to serve as a direct foil for a character universally acknowledged to be good. His entire reason for existing was to die and to take Holmes with him - one could argue that that sets him at odds with his world as much as it might for the rest of us. He is admittedly a troubled man, but I believe that the further away he gets from his story, the better he will be in the long run.

My reply:

Dear Morgan,

Thank you, for your detailed reply. I have, for the moment, little to add.

As to the promises I can't keep, I do believe that a skilled enough writer can craft such a world where you can be happy, as hard as that may be. But indeed, I can not promise that I'm personally skilled enough. Admitting that is painful, but I can't pretend to be unaware of that truth.

To attack your other points would be insulting you and your beliefs. That is not my intention, I will respect your reasoning.

I'll not try to persuade you to accept my previous request again, unless the time comes when I can show you that the moon is indeed falling, in the absence of such evidence I can't pressure that point any further. Though I'm aware that even if we do collect this evidence, it might still not be clear as to the origins of the problem... But that is a point to discuss only if this elusive "proof" comes to light.

If fate has any hold over this reality, let us hope that it does not take us to a path were me might be forced to pick sides and end up fighting each other.

~Pixelmage

Quite a bit shorter, but that's honestly all I can say.

[Tohrinha]

All right. This is both a lot longer and a lot more emotional than I usually write. But it's a reaction, which probably accounts for both of those.

Morgan,

I apologize in advance for the length of this email. It was written through emotion, which is profoundly talkative. Please forgive various lapses, in grammar, in style, in logic, in responding to all parts of your letter. This was written as a flow of thought, not a planned-out response.

I’m not as familiar with your story as I should be; I only have a passing knowledge. So I can only react to what you have said in your correspondence with Pixelmage, but this alone brings a strong response from me. Please allow me to quote:

“I stand for all of the pagans who were slaughtered by Christian Englishmen in their crusade to convert the country. In the lens of that world, I am evil because I am pagan - that is how the religious men who wrote of the Round Table created me and that is how I am able to service the story of Christian domination of England. However, I am who I am because I am pagan as well. In my opinion, I could not be written as Christian and have it be a story worth telling. It would be like writing Erik in a world where people suddenly aren't afraid of his appearance, or like writing Juan in a world where his morals were accepted as the norm. We are all designed to be incompatible with our own worlds.”

I cannot imagine what this must be like. There is still a strong Christian bias in this world (I should know, I am a pagan in a Christian community), such that paganism is treated as a fad in the best of company, a deadly sin in the least hospitable of communities. But it is not such that I am demonized, for which I will be forever grateful. I . . . . To be honest, I never considered refictionalizing you, personally. I have thought about other characters, and I have thought about all as a whole, but never you specifically. And now I realize that I cannot. I do not know what it is to not fit in. I am a loner, a “freak of nature” (an affectionate term, I assure you, referring to how different I am from my friends, from my community), but I am part of this world. I cannot imagine being opposed to it, being against the very core of history’s path. Indeed, as I mentioned above, my differences do not cause me to be ostracized; instead, they are an inexorable part of the ties between me and others – sometimes loving, sometimes trying, but always building relationships, never tearing them down.

So at this point, I cannot refic you. Even if I tried, even if I had all the logic and evidence in the world behind me, I do not think I could bring myself to write. It is a process bound up with emotion, not logic. It’s odd. Since the beginning of my correspondence with you, we have not talked of who to believe or who to trust. I have left that to my fellow metaguards, in preference of other subjects. And yet, I find myself trusting you. Maybe it is because I can understand you more, now that you are no longer just a mysterious shadow.

As I write this, I’m hoping that I can finish and send it to you before we find your echo, and you follow through on your promise. I’ve said that I cannot write a refic for you, and I will add this: I cannot refic you, whether by writing, by finding an echo, or by delivering the story. I don’t speak for the metaguards; I only speak for myself. I can’t stop others, but I promise you – you will never be refic’d through me.

I don’t want you to cut yourself off from us out of fear.

I trust you.

Please trust me.

Tohrinha

This . . . was also a lot more personal than I intended it to be. Ah, well.